Masterminx

It is a deliciously grey day. It even rained a bit, earlier. I want to sit cozily in the dark with a steaming cup of coffee, wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of underwear.

Oh, wait. Yeah, that's what I am doing. The luxury of unemployment!

I still haven't heard anything from **CB**. I wonder what she's doing, these days. It's funny, how such a friendship can get scrapped over a piece of computer hardware breaking.

She still has the copy of Ishmael I filched from Mr. Grimm. I hope she reads it.

Being at home all day affords me the opportunity to listen to the radio from 7 am to 5 pm, plus a half-hour prior and post for drive time. I've heard the dozen or so songs they play, about a million times. I have also participated in a few of the contests, as well, and took home the DVD set of **24: Season 2**. I'm addicted to that series.

Today was 'Haikuesday' on the morning show. The theme for today was 'pumpkin'. I wrote this:

Carefully crafted Set you on my porch with love Shrapnel by morning.

It was the DJ's favorite, and he read it on the air. It was cool. He even said 'masterminx', referring to my email address. My alias has crossed over to the real world.

Cool.

I have often said that the people who believe in magic, lead the most magical lives. If you perceive a higher context to the circumstances of your life, you will view greater meaning in all things.

I'm not sure that this is a good thing. My scientific, cynical background tells me that it is foolish to believe that there is a hidden meaning to happenstance. If I believe that a feather on the ground is nothing more than the common and likely occurance of living in a climate where birds are plentiful, year-round, then I do not place any unwarranted expectations in the effect of what amounts to bird eczema. It didn't land there for me. It just landed there.

This sort of thinking saves a great deal of scrambling to justify an outcome, either negative or positive. For example, if I believed that a token was good luck-- or a blessing, or a good omen--then, I would have to blame the failure of a fortuitous outcome on my own lack of faith or misinterpretation of the item.

On the other hand, if I received the desired result, then I would be empowered to take some of the credit for obtaining the token, in the first place.

Belief in magical forces allows the lines of cause and effect to blur sufficiently to permit the believer to insinuate themselves into the course of events. It creates an illusion of control in a chaotic situation.

What becomes of faith, then? How does a practical, reasonable, well-educated person come to place their faith in random events and discoveries? One must find an equilibrium between reason\\ and \\faith, chaos and intent. The intricacies of chaos can't be dismissed with such a simple word as 'coincidence'. Each action and reaction, followed by infinite ripples in the lives of others, has influenced the path to this moment. Do we dare leave that to chance? Do we think so well of ourselves to believe that we have the ability to learn and adapt and command our way through chaos?

Or do we think so well of ourselves to believe that we have the intuitive ability to choose our path through chaos?

There must be some sort of middle ground, accepting facets of each line of thought based on objective reflection. I have seen things I can't explain. I do not readily attribute them to magic or science, for I believe much magic is only undiscovered science. However, I have recently observed a sort of tension in my chest when I am about to guess something with better-than-coincidental accuracy. A physical manifestation of the reception of suggestion, or precognition? Or my body reacting to the anticipation of an educated guess?

Or, is it the force?

I don't know. But I will be giving it a great deal of objective reflection.

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