Choice
When you are speaking to a person who places some value on your opinion, I urge you to choose your words with some caution. That is not to say that you should flatter, patronize, or restrain yourself in order to accomodate the listener's feelings; I simply ask that you consider the weight of some words before you put them into play.
If the person you speaking to doesn't really care what you think, say whatever you wish and then move on. There's no point in wasting too much time on a person who doesn't care about what you have to say. This is the inverse of the above bit of advice.
I find the use of an inverse helps crystallize a point. As does an example.
An example of a possible poor word choice word be to tell someone that they appear to know how to manipulate people well with writing. This may be construed as a fairly negative statement, inferring some sort of ill-aimed intent on the part of the author. This might seem to be a back-handed compliment: the sort of thing that burrows into a person's subconscious and irritates them all day. Manipulate. Not good.
People who manipulate other people are generally viewed in a negative light because they are exerting their will over another in order to gain something. See also: ulterior motives. For example, my father always said that my mother was a manipulative (insert derrogatory noun here). I could spell and define the word 'manipulation' on command before I hit the first grade.
If a person wished to express a similar sentiment in a complimentary manner, one might say that a writer is adept at moving the reader. Or, illiciting a response. Or, that their writing is provocative. Provocative is nice.
Maybe manipulative is the right word for the feeling. Add passive-aggressive to the list.
Ouch.
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