Masterminx

I was flipping through the channels and I landed on some broadcast of Viva Las Vegas, the cheesy old Elvis flick. I was compelled to watch for a few minutes, despite the horror, just to see Ann-Margret's hot ass in those black tights. Just, damn, woman. She had it going on. Still does, but not quite in the same way. I was also surprised at the fact that I found Elvis to be fairly hot, himself, in that scene. Long legs, nice suit. Not too terrible.

I clearly need to get laid. Yeesh. I confirmed that problem for myself when I changed the channel over to "COPS", past it, and back, just so I could stare at the way hot officer that was on camera. I don't even like cops. Authority types just piss me off.

Yesterday was my mother's birthday, and I didn't get to talk to her. I'm pretty pissed about that. I called her three times, and ended up only getting to talk to my drunken father. I wish that I hadn't. He was telling me about all these guys that I knew in high school, and what has become of them. One of them is a cop in Kaysville, one is married to a girl who sounds like Patsy Cline, and so on. Every time he mentions their names, I wince with the memory of drunken gropes and making out at parties. These were my stepbrother’s cowboy buddies.

My father also told me all about my former stepsisters. He has been in touch with them, in recent years. They visited him at work. I find that exceedingly strange, considering how they hated him. One of them accused him of molesting her. Actually, no...they both did, at one point. Rather unusual for them to go out of their way to visit him. All that aside, he told me the older girl is still married to the bagger boy that I refused to date--one of the only ones I rejected, outright--and they have three kids, now. Good for her. She was never all that bright, but she was born to raise kids. Being with him brought her back to the Church and cured her evil ways. I thanked him for that, sincerely, the day they married. She was hell bound for sure before him.

I never saw a girl who could drink scotch like my little stepsister. I never saw a girl break another girl's nose like she did, either. She was a mean, mean, bad girl. Man, we fought like two flames on the last twig in the fire pit. The last fight we had was broken up by her mother, and I damn near took that woman out to get to her. We were the closest two in the family, and fought the worst.

Now, she's got three little boys. She still lives in the same town. I can't imagine us being any more different, these days.

And after the rift she created when she told me that my father had abused her, and I sympathized with her, she visits him at his work and takes along her kids to see him. There's a life that doesn't even touch the one I'm living. It's troubling.

I am feeling alienated by the people I love, these days. This is just a drop in a bucket that seems to be overflowing, right now.
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