Peh! Peh! Bleh!
Aw, gawd. Fuze Green Tea tastes like medicine! Don't drink it, folks. It's bad.
Now that Iceman and Ruxpin are gone, I get my lunch from the cafeteria and eat at my desk. It's not a good thing. I just ate a salad comprised largely of lettuce, sunflower seeds, and olive oil. They didn't have anything else edible. And, of course, the offending aforementioned beverage because they were out of Arizona Green Tea. I thought I'd try something new.
Blech.
It's horrible, but I keep drinking it because I paid $2 for it. I chug it, and then wince and whine into a napkin. Oh, the humanity! Thank heaven, it doesn' t have any corn syrup in it. I'd be puking for, sure. The good news is that I'm getting a full day's RDA of Vitamin C, E, B3, B5, B6, and B12, and a 50% dose of Folic Acid. The bad news is that I can taste every one of those motherfuckers, and I already took a daily vitamin this morning. I'll be peeing green, for sure.
Ooohh...I don't feel so well.
I have been speaking to Mac, again. Those close to me are probably balling up their fists in frustration and getting ready to sock me in the face; however, let me clarify the nature of this contact. We are not getting back together. We are not making up. For my part in this, I am not even going to analyze where everything went wrong because I think our relationship was fundamentally flawed from day one. We are incompatible at a basic level, in my opinion.
Not that any of that matters, now. We just got too ugly to even go back on that. Why we're speaking, according to me: we have some common interests, such as photography, birding, and hiking. If we stick pretty close to those subjects, and stay far, far away from anything resembling intimacy, sex, or a relationship, then I don't want to strangle him and smash in his skull with a rock. Which is pretty good, as far as I'm concerned. Then, I'll have someone to accompany me on these remote hikes, so I don't have to be out in the brush alone. He gets out of it...whatever he gets out of it.
I still have to grit my teeth when he starts talking about politics or whatever, but it comes in small doses. Best of all, if he starts getting on my fucking nerves, I can just turn off messenger or ignore my phone. I don't have to make that effort to keep the relationship going. I don't have to do anything, because I don't care any more. That's nice!
I broke the news about this to D, last night. At that time, Mac and I had not discussed my no-sex, no touchy-clingy bullshit policy, so I didn't have any solid defense to present to D to support my insistence that we were not getting back together. I mean, I had already made up my mind about it; I had just not laid it out for Mac (who reluctantly but respectfully agreed). D was not exactly overjoyed at the news, but was reasonably apathetic. I have a feeling it will come up later. That's how he does.
I didn't tell Rasputin. I can't even begin to tell you how horrible I feel about that. I tell him everything, everything, everything about my life. I omitted that little detail, out of shame. He's out of town for a week, and I have a feeling I'm going to get clucked at when he reads this. I just wanted to get it under control myself, like a big girl, before my friends got involved. That's all.
Speaking of D, he was telling me about his dating adventures last night--to which I replied with just a slight twinge of jealousy. I'm such a territorial creature. This is certainly the case when it comes to him. I think some part of me holds out hope that he'll come around. Though, after 5 years, that's a damn small part. I think the larger part is the one that doesn't want the sporadic stream of steamy encounters to dry up because of some other random chick. I put in my time. I want dibs. Heh.
Besides, I'd be losing a good friend because I know that guy is spineless when it comes to chicks telling him what to do. If I was his chick, I wouldn't tolerate me, either. I'm a homewrecker. Iceman called me a siren. And the devil. I know my intentions are seldom good, where men are concerned.
But that's what they are made for.