Masterminx

I live an unremarkable life. I will never do anything so great as to grant me fame or adoration from strangers. That sort of dream died by the time I entered college. I wonder how many people had such dreams of greatness when they were kids. Probably vastly more people saw those dreams dissolve into nothing than those who realized them. The world is stocked with dreamless, average people living meaningless, empty lives. I guess that's why religion is so popular.

People at work have been raving on about what a splendid photographer I am. They all keep saying that I should sell my photos and calendars because people would gladly throw money at me for my work. It's all crap. Whenever they start doing that, I want to direct them to Richard Ditch's website. He's a professional (retired) and a genius with a camera. People want his work, and I certainly covet his talent and skill. He's very cool.

My hobbies will never make me money or fame. They make me less bored. That's what hobbies are. I wish things were different, but I know they never will be.

I have been feeling a little blue because I still don't have any friends here, after a year. I have no one to talk to when something fun or funny happens. I can't share my little bird-sighting stories to anyone. I had one the other day, so I really felt that absence. I was able to tell Rasputin toward the end of the day. Even though he didn't care, he listened and said it was a cool story.

See, what happened was a minor thing but it thrilled me. I don't have anyone who cares about the little things that give me a kick. I stopped at the bird feeder while my car was warming up, and noticed that Mr. Scrub Jay was waiting on a low branch of the poplar tree nearby. The feeder was full, but I usually dump a little bit of seed on the ground to keep the jays from molesting the feeder. I walked up to the edge of the snow bank that divides my bird feeder from the parking lot and found a spotted towhee on the ground, picking over the scraps from the feeder.

This is a bird I've only peeked through a tangle of bushes and vines. They are very pretty, but I don't have a single photo. Well, there was no way I could have taken a picture in that situation, so I just watched. It was a couple of feet away from me, and showed no signs of alarm. He just fluffed up and kept pecking. I was amazed.

I turned to leave, and didn't get four pace back before the male jay was down on the seeds I dropped. A moment later, the female joined him, right in front of me. It was so cool. Those jays are like friendly neighbors. They live right in the area of this half block, and are mated for life so you know it's the same two.

But KJ wasn't interested in that. My dumb bird stories. I don't know who I used to tell them to, before. Maybe I didn't.

I had to call KJ that afternoon and tell him about my doctor. I had an abnormal test and I have to go in for a biopsy. Probably nothing. I'm a little freaked out.

We got a wicked snow storm last night. It was pretty crazy. KJ Jr.'s mother slid down the hill from their house last night and crashed into a car at the light at the bottom. All of the kids were in the car, and even though no one was injured, they all got really scared. KJ had to drive his ex to work and take all of the kids to school this morning because the ex is too scared to drive. Bald tires and steep, icy hills don't mix.

I've been falling asleep during the day for the last couple of weeks. I don't know why, but I'm damn sleepy right now.